Bittersweet
by sparkleerose
Summary: Before Winter could ask herself how she let it get this far, it was already too late. And now, she faces an impossible situation, her options diminishing as she struggles to find a way out. One night, it leads her to Jacin, a medical student who never realizes just how small his world is. Modern AU! including all four of the main pairings.
1. Chapter 1

Winter slumped against the apartment door, trying to unlock it with closed eyes. She fumbled with her key as the lock got stuck— _again_ —but she didn't have the energy to look at it properly. A moth was fluttering around one of the lamps in the abandoned hallway, tapping against the glass. It seemed to be the only thing awake at this time of night.

With a _click!_ , the lock opened and the door gave away. Stumbling into the darkness of her apartment, she opened her eyes blearily.

It was too dark to see anything anyway, but Winter knew exactly where everything was. Not bothering with the light switch, she dropped her keys on the end table. Kicking off her heels and hanging her hat on its hook, Winter sighed deeply; it felt good to be home. It was too late to cook anything, but she wasn't really hungry. Maybe a nice hot bath before she went to sleep…

"Where were you?"

Winter almost jumped out of her skin. She didn't expect anyone would still be awake, but her boyfriend must have waited up for her. She could make out his figure in the dark, leaning against the wall. Biting her lip, she tried to judge his mood.

"Oh, you scared me," she said, bringing her hand to her chest. He didn't answer.

 _Damn it, he's mad._

"Sorry, I know I should've called," Winter said, giving him her best smile, "But I got hung up at work. And the traffic was pretty bad because there was an accident on the—"

"And you didn't think I would worry?"

Winter pressed her lips together, swallowing her excuses, "I really am sorry. I meant to call as soon as I could. It's just… by the time I had a moment to spare, I figured you'd already be sleeping."

He didn't say anything again. Winter suppressed a sigh. She shrugged off her coat, dropping it on the floor. Next, she carefully took off her earrings and bracelets, before moving closer to him. She hoped to lessen his temper. After the night she'd had, Winter didn't have the energy to deal with a moody boyfriend.

Moving her hand up his chest, Winter brought her lips to his ear. "I can make it up to you."

The darkness surrounded them, almost suffocating her. Carefully, Winter caressed his biceps, tracing the outline of his arm. After a moment, his shoulders gave into her and she grinned in victory.

"I just need to take a shower," she whispered, "And then I'm all yours."

He was leaning into her now, gently kissing the side of her head. She could feel his breath against her ear. "Don't be long."

Winter smiled, but could feel a pang of exhaustion in her chest. She chased it away with whatever energy she had left. "Anything for you, Aimery."

* * *

Stifling a yawn, Winter refilled the napkin dispenser. The diner bustled around her, noise levels picking up gradually, before dropping back down.

"You awake?"

Iko's face popped into her vision. Her eyes were wide with curiosity and the kind of sparkling energy Winter only ever dreamed of.

"Barely," Winter said, offering up a sleepy smile.

Iko grinned back. "Rough night, huh? And here, let me help."

Looking down, Winter blinked at the mess she'd made of the napkins. "Oh, thanks."

Iko took over, lining up the napkins into the dispenser in record time. Winter watched her in wonder, fascinated by the way Iko moved. Like Winter, she was juggling two part-time jobs while she tried to figure out her future. Unlike Winter, Iko seemed to have an endless supply of energy, sleeping only a few hours every night and never drinking coffee.

"How do you do it?" Winter asked, resting her head in her hands.

Iko raised an eyebrow. "The napkins?"

Winter laughed. "No! Of course not! I meant, um, everything, I guess."

Iko looked at her, puzzled. Then she glanced around the diner, mentally counting something, before dropping down in the seat in front of Winter. "Okay, what's going on?"

"What?" Winter asked, "Nothing. What do you mean?"

"C'mon, Winter," Iko said, playfully pushing her shoulder, "It's me. You know you can talk to me."

"I-I don't—" Winter stopped herself, flustered. That was another thing about Iko; she knew exactly when something was up. Which sometimes made her a dangerous person to be around.

Winter sighed, dropping her head on the table. "Just tired."

"That's it?" Iko asked, totally not believing her.

Winter stared at the grain of the wooden table. "Do you ever just feel like everything's too much? Like your life is going by way too quickly and you can't catch a break?"

"Winter!" Iko exclaimed, then laughed in disbelief, "You're only twenty-five! Babe, listen, your life's only starting. From here on out is where you make all the big decisions and find your path and all that stuff. Nothing's gone by because nothing has even had the chance to happen!"

Winter smiled, ruffling her hair self-consciously. Iko placed her hand of Winter's, squeezing it gently. "Honey, I know you've got great things coming your way. Don't give up just yet."

"Thanks, Iko," Winter said, "You're the best."

"Don't I know it," Iko replied, winking. Someone from the counter called out her name, bringing them both back to the present. With one last squeeze, Iko got up.

Winter watched her leave, feeling her enthusiasm draining with every step. Iko's optimism was infectious, always managing to bring out a smile from everyone. But Winter could never really make it last when she was by herself.

Was there something wrong with her? Besides the obvious, of course. But at the moment, she wasn't really thinking about being crazy or her broken childhood. What was worrying her was the fact that everyone around her seemed to know exactly where they were headed. And most of them were already there.

Was she being left behind? No, no, of course not. Winter banished the thought from her mind. She knew better than to give into her so-called "abandonment issues". Still, she couldn't help but feel frustrated with herself. She had worked so hard in the past and was continuing to do so now, but it was getting increasingly difficult to deal with the lack of results.

The bell sounded at the door, tinkling as Cress walked in. She took off her hat, shaking her hair out as Winter waved at her.

"Hey!" Cress called out as she approached, pulling off her jacket and stuffing her hat into one of the sleeves.

"Hey yourself," Winter grinned.

"I'm not too late, am I?" Cress asked, brow furrowed slightly, "Sorry Winter. The bus was early and I didn't make it."

"No worries," Winter said breezily, "If there's one thing to complain about in Artemisia, it's the public transportation."

"Well, I think of a few more things," Cress said, pulling a face that made Winter giggle. She linked her arm with Cress' and pulled her along into the back of the diner.

"Jeez, Winter, have you been getting any sleep? You look worse than I do. And I just had my finals."

Winter raised her eyebrows. "Gee, thanks."

Cress coloured slightly. "No, I didn't mean it like _that_. You could be on the front cover of _Vogue_ running on no sleep and you know it. It's just, you look a little, um, dazed."

Winter have Cress her brightest smile. "The weather has been getting to me, I guess."

"Okay, I can understand that," Cress said, and they moved on to the subject of Cress' classes, much to Winter's relief. She appreciated her friends' concern, really. But there were a few things Winter preferred to keep close to her. Weather was easier to blame than nightmares or lost time. It didn't help that Aimery was being more difficult lately, making Winter use up all her energy to keep up with his moods.

There were times when it took all she had not to break down and spill out all her problems. But if there was one thing she knew, it was that some things could not be taken back.

* * *

 **Before the story continues, I would like to address a few things. First, this story is not finished and is not one that will ever be finished. So, before you dive in, there will be a few missing details and chapters and such. Unfortunately, I am out of time to finish it, but hopefully there's still enough to enjoy.**

 **Secondly, it is rated M of variety of reasons, most to do with violence and abuse, as well as as some swearing that will appear throughout. This is a warning that if you are not comfortable with this, please do not continue reading. There will not, however, be any mature scenes, beyond some heavy kissing and connotations**

 **And lastly, the Lunar Chronicles and all its characters belong to Marissa Meyer.**


	2. Chapter 2

As she walked up the dirt road, Winter squinted against the sun, trying to see if anyone was around. The farm was far enough from the city that they always made sure to stack up on errands before heading out. It just wasn't worth it to make multiple trips.

So when they were going out, they were _all_ going out. Winter paused for a moment, hesitating in the middle of the dusty road. She should have called before coming; they would have waited for her. Or at least Ze'ev would have. Or maybe Scarlet. Hell, even her grandmother wouldn't have minded staying behind. Michelle always said that they were family now and told Winter to come over more often.

Craning her neck, Winter tried to see if she could spot the silver truck Scarlet was so proud of. Though, in all honesty, Winter wasn't sure why.

Ze'ev would sometimes complain to her how it always broke down or wouldn't start or something along those lines. But then Scarlet would give him _that look_ , and he'd shut up right away. _But I know you love it, so it's good enough for me_ , he'd say and then kiss her and Winter would swoon—

Her thoughts were interrupted as a figure came out from behind the barn. She was still too far away to see their face, but Winter would recognize that hoodie anywhere.

"Scarlet!" Winter called, starting down the path again. Scarlet turned around, clearly startled as she almost dropped the basket she was carrying.

"Hey crazy," Scarlet said when Winter got close enough to hug her, "Or should I say stranger?"

Winter smiled apologetically. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Sorry. I've just been caught up with work and Aimery and—"

"It's okay, I get it," Scarlet said, ruffling her hair, "It's great to see you now. And hey, you're just in time for lunch."

Winter relaxed, feeling relieved. Ever since Ze'ev had defined his relationship with Scarlet, Winter could never be sure if she was ever overstepping.

At the beginning, when Ze'ev had just gotten the job at the farm, and was still using his street name, Wolf, he'd been living with Winter. They'd been staying in a motel for a while, living off the money Ze'ev had been getting from his street fights. But then Winter turned fourteen and got a job at a greasy fast food place and he decided it was time to turn his life around.

Which was easier said than done, considering his reputation. The moment anyone saw the tattoo on his arm, he was back on the streets, tossed out by people claiming they 'didn't want that kind of trouble'. Eventually, he landed a job with some road construction company and, between the two of them, they scraped together enough to rent a small, just barely livable apartment.

As tough as it was, that was one if the best times of Winter's life. They were both always exhausted, living off of ramen and pre-packaged meals, but it was a huge step up from the streets. It finally felt like their lives were turning around, like they were getting some control back.

Ze'ev never told her, but she knew that he went back to the fighting ring whenever things got tough. It scared her to see him get hurt, so it was such a relief when he met Scarlet.

Something had happened to her grandmother and she was out on the streets looking for her. Somehow—Ze'ev had never given up any details—they stumbled into each other and Ze'ev offered to help.

After she was found and everything was fine again, they offered Ze'ev a job and a place to stay. He'd only accepted the work, insisting on staying with Winter until she was able to be on her own.

Which happened a few years later, and by then, Ze'ev and Scarlet were practically married and planning on moving in together anyway.

Winter was incredibly happy for both of them, especially Ze'ev. She experienced firsthand the awful situation that he grew up in and was always so relieved that nothing terrible followed him into his future.

And yet, sometimes, when she had a moment to herself, Winter couldn't stop the feelings of loneliness and nostalgia that cropped up. Their life together had been surrounded by dire circumstances, but they had had each other, and Winter had never felt so at home with anyone since her father died.

Was it wrong to feel this way? Winter couldn't help but wonder about this as she followed Scarlet into the house. She often believed that there was nothing wrong with feeling a certain way, as long as she didn't act on it. Because feelings and emotions weren't as easy to control as actions. But then why did she feel like she was betraying those she loved?

* * *

"How 'bout a break?" Kai asked, leaning against the counter, his chin propped up by his hands.

Cinder gave him a look, swiping a strand of hair out of her face. "Kai, the cars aren't going to fix themselves."

He glanced down at the open hood of the car and shrugged. "Okay, okay, how about this: we watch one episode of whatever you want, _and_ you can use me for free labour after." Kai waggled his eyebrows, making Cinder laugh.

"Please, it's never just one episode with you," she said, grabbing the wrench next to him, "And besides, you and cars? Your 'free labour' takes me twice as much time."

"Cinder…" Kai pleaded, tucking stray hairs behind her ear when she reached over for another tool.

"What is this?" Cinder asked incredulously, but she couldn't hold back a smile. "Am I just supposed to drop everything the moment you come in with your million-dollar-suits and let you sweep me off my feet?"

"Ideally?" Kai asked, grinning at her. "Yes."

"Stop it!" Cinder exclaimed, laughing as he stole a kiss.

Winter ducked behind the computer screen, hiding her smile. They were ridiculous sometimes, but it was nice seeing two people so in love. When she first started working at Cinder's garage, she was surprised at how open they were, even in front of other people. But, as Kai explained it, both of them had incredibly busy schedules and every moment together counted.

"Good evening, Madame Secretary."

Winter looked up to find Kai bowing jokingly in front of her desk.

"Mr. Future-President," she replied, flashing him a grin, "What can I do for you today?"

Kai smiled sheepishly, like he always did whenever someone mentioned his place in his father's company. "Do you, by any chance, have Cinder's schedule? Or, more specifically, the times when she is free in the upcoming weeks?"

"Winter, tell him nothing!" Cinder's shout came from under a car.

"I'll see what I can do," Winter whispered to him conspiratorially and winked. Helping Kai with his romantic schemes was definitely more fun than filling out tax returns. Besides, she thought Cinder could use some time off. Cinder's busy schedule was more so due to her determination to work as much as possible, to prove that she could, in fact, run her late step-father's garage.

That dedication was definitely something to admire, but before Winter had started working here, Cinder had worked herself to the bone. Iko had begged her to take on more people, persuading her best friend to hire Winter before she exhausted herself to death.

It had somehow worked out from there, with Winter finding a second part-time job to keep up with her bills, and Cinder catching a break. But there were times when people still had to remind Cinder to take care of herself before the cars.

"Knew I could count on you," Kai said, grinning.

Winter shrugged modestly, then immediately lost all her composure when she saw Cinder standing with her hands on her hips, giving them a _look_.

"Are you really going to waste Winter's time as well?" Cinder asked, but there was no malice behind her words. Her mouth twitched as she watched the two of them laugh.

"None of this would have happened if you had listened to me in the first place!" Kai exclaimed, moving closer to his girlfriend, who shook her head in exasperation.

Winter turned back to the computer, determined to at least finish a few emails, when something caught her eye. Looking up, she found Aimery outside in the lot, leaning against his car as he watched her. Frozen in her spot, she tried to figure out just how long he'd been there, but judging by the look on his face, it was long enough.


	3. Chapter 3

" _Who was he?_ "

The vase shattered against the wall, its contents dripping down onto the floor. It reminded Winter of the bloody walls she was so used to seeing. Her terrified mind was transfixed momentarily on the small puddle forming and she couldn't move.

" _Are you listening to me?_ "

Aimery furiously lunged forward, forcing her mind to come crashing down into the present. Winter skittered back, colliding with a wall. She instinctively hid her head behind her arms, bracing herself for the blow.

It didn't matter how many times she'd been struck; every new hit shook her to her core. She kept trying to cut herself off, to disconnect herself with what was happening. It never worked.

Aimery's anger consumed him until he was unrecognizable. Whenever it started, Winter was left scrambling for something, _anything_ that would give her a chance to stop it. But her heightening panic made it impossible to do anything but wait for it to be over.

"Aimery, please," she whispered, trying to stop her tears, "I swear, I didn't know him. He's a friend of C-Cinder's. That's all, I swear."

"'A friend of Cinder's'?" Aimery was staring down at her, his shadow looming over her. "That didn't stop him from looking at you like that."

She choked back a sob, knowing how much he hated to see her cry. Drawing a trembling breath, Winter forced herself to push back the lump in her throat. "Aimery, I-I would never lie to you."

He didn't answer. It terrified her to never know if his silence was a good thing or not.

Ignoring the pain in her arm, she lowered it slowly. "Aimery, baby, listen, he's nobody—"

His fist came out of nowhere. Winter couldn't hold back a cry as it knocked her back down. She could feel her skin breaking open as she collapsed against the floor.

"Don't you ever forget that," Aimery spat out, his frustration darkening his features, "There's nobody else. Don't you _ever_ forget that I am the only one— _the only one_ —who will stay with you."

He left her there on the floor, slamming the door on his way out. Winter tried to hold back her tears, her vision already flooded with the blood gushing from her forehead. It hurt to move, the wounds from before all coming together to weigh her down.

It must've been his rings, she realized numbly. He'd hit her with his left hand, the one with the two silver rings he was so proud of. Her temple was stinging and she could feel the warm blood on her cheek.

It registered with her that she should get up and examine her head, but Winter was so tired. It took so much out of her every time Aimery hit her. Every new bruise left her emptier and emptier, until she was sure that she was holding onto nothing.

* * *

The fluorescent lights glared from up ahead, amplifying the pain in her head. Winter looked at the hospital doors wearily, watching as they started to close but were interrupted again and again by someone rushing in or out.

 _Artemisia Hospital_ was spelled out in big white letters, which flickered out every few seconds. It distracted her briefly, but then someone pushed past her with an _Excuse me, miss!_ and she was brought back.

Winter wasn't exactly sure what she was doing here, really. When she'd finally found the strength to check herself out, it had taken a while to stop the bleeding. By then, Winter was more than just light-headed and had ended up spilling her remaining medication into the bloodied sink.

She'd stared at it grimly, wondering if she could stomach swallowing the remaining bloody pills that hadn't fallen down the drain. Winter had felt ridiculous, but just the thought of it had brought a lump to her throat.

And so she stood outside the hospital at two in the morning, hoping for a refill before her hallucinations got out of control again. Yet, for some reason, she couldn't bring herself to go in. There was something intimidating about the building, even so late at night.

Eventually, as her fingers started to ache from clenching the pill bottle, the hospital seemed to calm. The doors stayed closed and there was nobody left to rush past her. Winter found herself slowly making her way in, carefully patting her forehead to make sure the bandaging hadn't become undone.

The receptionist at the front desk was talking on the phone and didn't even look up when Winter came in.

"Excuse me?" Winter's voice was hoarse and she cleared her throat a few times before trying again. "Excuse me?"

The receptionist lifted up a hand, stopping Winter as she finished up on the phone. "Yes, that can all be arranged ...Yes …Of course, 'bye.

"Yes?" The receptionist turned to Winter and her eyes widened. "Oh, do you need some help?"

"Um, I have a prescription," Winter said, and fumbled with the slip of paper her doctor had given her. She handed it to the receptionist, along with her empty medicine bottle. "I just need a refill."

The receptionist pursed her lips, eyeing Winter warily. She took the paper, but didn't give it more than a glance before shaking her head. "Sorry, but we don't give out medication here."

Winter could feel the embarrassment rising up in her. She swallowed, trying to ignore the sickly feeling. "I know, I know, I just... Everything else is closed and this is kind of an emergency—"

"I'm sorry miss, but this is not a pharmacy. And if it really is an emergency, you need to talk with your doctor. We really can't just hand out medication to whoever asks for it."

Someone pushed past Winter, shoving her into the counter. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to balance the sudden wave of pain and dizziness. The grip on her empty medication bottle tightened, driving the edges deep into her palm and anchoring her to her task.

"I—I understand that. And I'm not asking for handouts because I do have a prescription—"

"Are you alright?"

Cracking an eye open, Winter found a someone staring down at her with concern. She noticed his scrubs and felt a wave of relief.

"I just need my prescription refilled," Winter said, straightening up as much as she could and holding out her pill container, "I'm not—"

"Sorry, but," the doctor reached out towards her, hands hesitating at the last moment, "May I…?"

Winter blinked, before noticing his gaze on her bandages. "Oh! Oh no, no, I'm fine."

She immediately started to move away, clutching the bottle to her chest. This had clearly been a mistake. Winter felt completely drained, her head was killing her, and the trip to the hospital seemed fruitless. She wasn't going to get anything here. It would just have to wait until the morning because all Winter wanted to do now was leave and sleep for the next three days.

"What happened to your forehead?"

Winter immediately shook her head, then slowed down when another rush of dizziness came over her. "No, nothing. I'm okay, really." She nodded at the receptionist. "I'm sorry for wasting your time."

The doctor looked bewildered, his eyebrows raised. "Wait, you can't just—"

"It's fine, someone already checked me out—when I first came here—and then I got lost for a bit, and I was hoping to refill my prescription, but since I can't here, I'm ready to leave now," she said, starting to ramble in hopes that he would leave her alone, "I'm good to go."

"What?" He looked at her in disbelief. "Who was it that treated you?"

"Ah, um, well—nobody actually checked on me," Winter admitted, her swirling mind unable to come up with a feasible excuse, "I checked myself out, okay? But I really am feeling better now."

"Wait a second," the doctor told her, trying to get a closer look at the bandaged cloth on her forehead.

"No!" Panicked, Winter tried to move away. "No, I don't even have the insurance for this!" She let out an awkward laugh, trying to push down the growing need to _get out! Out!_ "Thank you, um, Mr. Doctor, but I really do need to go now."

Winter pushed away from the front desk. Taking a step forward, she suddenly found herself facing the floor. The room tilted. Walls around her blurred. And tiles were coming up fast. Winter scrambled for something to hold onto.

"Woah, careful!"

Somebody managed to grab her, right before she hit the ground. Winter closed her eyes, drawing in a breath as her mind spun around.

"I think it's best if you sit down for a moment." The doctor said, carefully holding her up.

Winter slumped in his arms, feeling completely defeated. There was no way she'd be getting home anytime soon, not when she felt like throwing up everytime she moved her head. She let herself be lowered into a nearby chair and leaned back against the wall.

"Wait here a moment, okay? Let me just grab a few things."

Winter didn't reply, concentrating on nothing. It helped her head after a while, but it was also making it harder to block out everything else. Tears started burning in her eyes, threatening to spill out, but she pushed them back.

Her mind replayed the scene at her apartment a few times, like it always did. Everytime he raged, it stayed with her for a while and she'd go over it again and again, running her mind through everything she could remember. Winter hated it, despised every second that her memory made her relive. But eventually, the more she went through it, the less it stung, until the hurt faded completely from her mind.

The memory restarted and Winter clenched her teeth to keep from screaming out. Her mind was in chaos, and she tried to focus on it as though it was progressing step by step. One, Aimery had shouted at her, but the thought that her neighbours might hear scared her even more. Two, he threw her vase against the wall, and Winter remembered the flowers that lay broken between the shards. And three, when he raised his hand, she could feel the ugly, twisting shame filling her up.

Winter deserved it. Deep down, she knew that everything happened because she wasn't careful enough. If she knew how Aimery would react, how could she put herself in that position and not expect these consequences?


	4. Chapter 4

"Is it getting worse?"

Winter looked up, squinting through the spinning room around her. The doctor was back, holding medical supplies that made her inexplicably nervous. Her stomach quivered at the sight of the needle in his hands, and Winter tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

"I'm fine," she said, out of reflex more than anything. He hadn't believed her before, and Winter doubted he'd start now.

"I'd rather not move you for now, just in case," he said, kneeling down next to her chair, "Could you tell me your name?"

Winter blinked as he checked her eyes with a small flashlight. "Um, Winter Hayle."

"No identity loss then," the doctor said and smiled, handing her her pill bottle. Her mind momentarily blanked, taken aback by his expression. He'd seemed so serious before, with furrowed eyebrows and somber eyes that left no room for a smile. She took her pill bottle back, carefully hiding the information label in her palm.

"I… I don't…"

"I'm Jacin Clay," he said, examining her head as he talked, "Not really a doctor yet, just interning. Which is why I can't really do anything for you and I'm pretty sure you need a CT scan, just to be safe. I can get the doctor on call right now, and—"

"Thank you, Dr. Clay," Winter interrupted, slowly gathering her bearings, "But I can't. I need to go home now."

He blinked, his hands pausing on her temple. They were cool against her head and Winter found herself leaning into him slightly. "I'm not... It's just Jacin. And if I promise to not get anyone else, will you let me at least examine your head?"

Winter frowned, but she didn't pull away. After a moment, Jacin carefully peeled away her bandages, slowing everytime she winced.

"Oh, jeez," Jacin muttered, putting down the bandages. "What happened?"

Winter knew it would come to this. There was no way she could tell him the truth, whether she wanted to or not. "I… I was attacked."

Jacin pulled back again, startled. "What?"

"On my way home from work," Winter blurted, trying to get a grasp on her words, "There was a man and he, um, he wanted my purse. I somehow got away, but he got me pretty good." She managed a self-conscious laugh as Jacin stared at her, perplexed.

"You got attacked?" Jacin asked. "Did you talk to the police?"

Winter licked her drying lips. "It's not that easy. The police won't help me, so it would be more of a hassle than actual help."

"But you could have gotten seriously hurt!" Jacin exclaimed, gesturing to her forehead, "You're lucky you got by with a flesh wound, but it really is better to at least tell the police. I mean, how could they not help?"

Looking down at her pill bottle, Winter wondered how to make him understand. "It's not like what you think. I don't live in a good neighbourhood."

"I don't think—"

"I don't live in a good neighbourhood," Winter repeated, louder this time, "And I was walking around alone at night. And I'm a girl who's on pills to stop herself from going crazy and—"

"Ms. Hayle… that shouldn't matter," Jacin interrupted quietly.

"It shouldn't," she said, "But it does. And nobody's going to take my case seriously considering everything."

Jacin frowned, fumbling with some wipes. "I'm sorry. If there's anything I can do to help—"

"Honestly, I really just need my prescription," Winter said, "I deal with this kind of stuff all the time." Her throat caught on the last words. It was the truth, she _did_ face Aimery's anger all the time, but it hurt in a way she couldn't describe to realize that.

"That really doesn't make me feel any better," Jacin said after a while, then moved closer, "This might sting."

Winter pressed her lips together tightly, doing her best not to flinch as the antiseptic burned through her cut. She didn't say anything, instead watched silently as people moved back and forth throughout the emergency room. There was a kid nearby, blood dripping from his nose and onto the floor. It made her stomach turn, and she looked back at Jacin. He had really pretty blue eyes, she noticed.

"You're going to need stitches," he said, leaning back, "I'm not the best, but I can do it if you don't want anyone else to."

"I don't really care," Winter said, "You're the best I know."

Jacin gave her a tight smile. "Then as soon as I finish up here, we can go by the hospital pharmacy. I'll make sure you get what you need, okay?"

Relief flooded through Winter so suddenly she almost broke down crying right there, in the middle of the lobby. Finally, _finally_ , something was going right.

"Thank you," she said, her throat getting thick with emotion. "Thank you." She closed her eyes, forcing the tears in her burning eyes to retreat.

A few minutes later, Winter was moved to an empty bed. Jacin told her he'd be right back, that he just had to go talk to his resident, which Winter guessed meant boss. He promised he wouldn't mention her if that was what she wanted, and that relaxed her nerves. It also gave her a chance to catch her breath, sitting on the crinkly paper with the curtain surrounding her.

"Alright, so." Jacin came in, pulling the curtain closed behind him. "You're only going to need a few stitches, but they'll come out in a couple weeks."

Winter chewed on her lip. "Will it hurt?"

"Don't worry," Jacin said, "I'm going to inject some lidocaine into the area first, so you won't feel a thing. And taking them out doesn't hurt either."

"'Inject'?" She swallowed hard. "Is it possible to skip the needle?"

Jacin blinked. "Uh, well, no. I can't put in stitches without the anesthetic."

Winter closed her eyes. _You can do this. You can do this._ The stitches were the only obstacle left before she could get her prescription and leave.

"Okay," Winter said after a moment, her voice weak. Jacin paused, putting down whatever he was holding back onto the metal tray.

"Winter, listen to me, alright?" Jacin came closer to her, leaning down slightly so they could see eye-to-eye. "I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you, I promise."

Winter looked into his eyes, into his steady gaze. She swallowed a lump in her throat. "Okay."

"Just try to focus on something else," Jacin said, then hesitated for a brief moment. "Can I ask about your socks?"

Winter glanced down, noticing the different, brightly coloured patterns peeking out from beneath her jeans. "Oh! Um, well, it's just the classic story of the dryer eating your laundry."

Jacin nodded encouragingly, and after a moment of uncertainty, she continued on, "I keep the pairless socks, you know, just in case I ever find them. But Scarlet's grandmother tells me that wearing mismatched socks is lucky, so I guess it's become sort of a habit."

Jacin approached her with a needle and she immediately looked away. "And well, I guess I could use an extra bit of luck."

"Who's Scarlet?" Jacin asked, his fingers pressing gently against her temple.

Winter focused on his eyes, ignoring the needle in her periphery. "She's my friend. And also, my friend's fiancée. She's… a lot of things actually, but most of all, my friend."

"Can you tell me about her?"

"About Scarlet?" Winter smiled. "She's amazing. Really brave and strong and sweet. And actually, once, when she first met Ze'ev"—the needle pricked her forehead and she hurriedly ploughed on through the story—"Scarlet was going through a rough time, because her grandmother was missing and Ze'ev came to her farm and wanted to offer his help. But he isn't the kind of guy that you trust right away so she threatened him with a shotgun and—"

"A shotgun?" Jacin pulled away, bewildered.

"Yeah, she knows how to take care of herself," Winter said, feeling a little proud, "It's just her and her grandmother after all. At least, it used to be, before Ze'ev joined them. And when they get married, who knows how many of them there'll be."

Winter grinned. She'd talked about this so many times with Scarlet's grandmother since both Scarlet and Ze'ev were too embarrassed to voice their thoughts. Michelle had even started teaching Winter how to knit properly so that they could make quilts and hats and scarves for the kids.

"You mentioned Ze'ev a few times," Jacin noted as he worked on the stitches, "Are you close?"

Winter let out a breath. How to describe her and Ze'ev? "He's like my brother. We've known each other for so long since we met way back when… when things weren't that great. We're the only family we have left."

The sadness, all that had gathered during her life, hit her just then. Her heart ached with the memories of all of those that she missed.

"Hey, Winter," Jacin said, placing his hand on hers, "It's okay. It's all done now."

Winter blinked, pulling herself back to the present. "Really?"

She straightened up, feeling her forehead for the stitches.

Jacin winced, gently pulling her hand away. "Better not go touching it yet, okay? The anesthetic will wear off soon, but for now, let it be so that you don't accidentally scratch yourself or something."

"Right," Winter said. She felt strangely light, like she'd been crying for a while and was just calming down now. Suddenly, she realized that she hadn't even thought about what had happened with Aimery ever since Jacin brought her here. The paper-thin curtain somehow made her feel safer, protected.

"Does your arm hurt too?"

Winter glanced back at Jacin. "Hm?"

She followed his gaze to the swelling bruise above her wrist. Quickly pulling down her sleeve, Winter forced a smile to her face. "No, no. My arms are fine."

Jacin seemed perplexed, his eyes regarding her wearily. "Are you sure there's nothing else you need me to take a look at?"

Winter shook her head, trying to ignore the nerves rocking her stomach. "I'm great now, really. Just need my prescription and I'll be on my way." Her voice sounded false even to her ears, too bright and chirpy.

"Right," Jacin said. He stared at her for a moment longer, before shaking his head and pulling back the curtain.

Winter got off the bed, following him out. It was obvious Jacin wasn't buying her lies and _I'm fine's_ , and he clearly wasn't satisfied with her excuses. The ever-familiar feeling of shame washed over her, just as it did whenever she covered up the truth.

He didn't deserve this. Despite the awful mess she'd been when she had come in, Jacin did not hesitate to help her. His genuine care surprised her, and it had only made it so much worse to push him away after.

"Hey." Jacin touched her arm, bringing her back and stopping her from walking into another doctor.

"Oh! I'm sorry, I—"

"Ms. Hayle?" The doctor in front of them was holding something out to her, and it took her a moment to realize it was her prescription.

"This is Dr. Kinney, from the pharmacy downstairs," Jacin said, "Everything should be filled up and in order."

"It's nice to meet you," Winter said politely, "And thank you for refilling my prescription."

Kinney nodded. "Just be more careful with you medication next time."

"Of-of course," Winter said, but he was already walking away. Winter glanced at Jacin, her eyebrows raised.

"Ah, he's very, uh, serious about his job," Jacin said, scratching the back of his neck.

"And you're not?"

Jacin paused for a moment, before turning back to her. "In this place, you have to be."

He then led her to the front doors, handing her a granola bar. "To keep your blood sugar level up. You lost a bit of blood, so make sure to take it easy."

"Alright," Winter nodded, taking the snack bar with a smile. She looked up at him, suddenly not wanting to leave. "I, um—Thank you for everything. Really. I appreciate it… Jacin."

Jacin smiled, and Winter felt his face brighten the entire world. For that moment, the looming night didn't seem that dark and frightening. Then he turned serious again. "Winter, if you ever need anything, any help, you can come here to me, okay? You don't have to try and solve these problems by yourself."

She stepped back through the doors, the darkness on the verge of swallowing her again. There was a slight pause as Winter gathered the last of her nerves. "I… I appreciate that."

And with one last smile, she turned and left.


	5. Chapter 5

Winter breathed in deeply, dazed, as she drifted awake. The pain in her head was pounding in time with the banging on the door.

" _Nngh_." Carefully touching her head, her fingers brushed against the rough material of the bandage. Memories of the night before started trickling in, much to her dismay.

Whoever was knocking at the door was getting impatient. Winter clenched her teeth together, giving herself a minute to gather her energy and get up. The one thing she always looked forward to on her mornings off was waking up at noon. But now, with 6:34 AM flashing at her in bright red, it seemed like her day was off to another terrible start.

Grabbing her robe off its hook, Winter wrapped herself in it warmly before opening the door. Ze'ev always warned her to " _look to see who was there first!_ ", claiming that it was better to be safe than sorry, but honestly—

"Aimery?"

Winter froze, his name slipping out before she could stop herself. She hadn't been expecting him this early.

Aimery gave her a hesitant smile, his eyebrows furrowed. "I forgot my key here last night."

"Oh, of course," Winter said, swallowing her surprise. She let out a breath, trying to calm her pulse as she opened the door wider. "You can come in and—"

"No, no, that's fine," Aimery said, "I just wanted to drop by before heading down to the office, see how you're doing."

"Oh," Winter said, letting herself relax. Aimery frowned, reaching out to gently run his hand over her forehead.

"Did you go to the hospital?" he asked softly, his fingers trailing down the side of her face.

"Just to refill my prescription," Winter said, giving into a smile as he caressed her cheek with his thumb.

"I'll come by tonight, okay?" Aimery said, "We'll go somewhere nice for dinner."

"That sounds great," Winter said, smiling as he leaned down to kiss her. "Have a good day at work today."

"You, too, baby," he said, kissing her again quickly, before striding towards the elevators.

Winter watched him leave, leaning against the doorframe. Relief coursed through her, lifting the weight off her chest. She always felt awful after he hit her, ashamed for staying, for being not being able to leave. But she knew he felt terrible, too. There was always this period of time afterwards, where he was so gentle, so careful with her. When she didn't have to worry about doing something wrong.

His guilt made him indulgent, soft, and it was then that she felt safest. It only lasted a day or two before she had to be careful again, and then the cycle would begin all over.

But right now, Winter would enjoy this.

* * *

"Alright, I'm out," Iko yawned, tossing her apron at the hook. It missed by a couple inches, landing on the floor instead.

Cress rolled her eyes, picking it up and hooking it onto the wall. She had to stretch to reach, standing on her tiptoes. When she turned back Iko, the girl was smiling at her in a way that made her feel slightly embarrassed.

"You'll be okay?" Iko asked, passing her by to tousle her hair. Cress scowled, swatting her hand away.

"Of course," Cress said indignantly, "I can handle the night crowds myself." She'd worked nights here long enough to handle anything, though 'crowds' may have been an overstatement. After midnight, it was usually just college students studying late or the odd straggler looking for a coffee after the night shift.

"Just remember, if you need anything, Gilles is in the back," Iko said, shrugging on her coat. She flicked her blue braids out and winked at Cress. "See you tomorrow, babe."

"'Bye," Cress said, leaning against the counter. She watched Iko walk down the street, gliding smoothly in her heels. She really was something else; Cress could never manage to look so dignified just by walking. Most of the time, she was running to make it somewhere on time or stumbling into strangers with her head in the clouds.

Shrugging to herself, Cress grabbed her coffee pot and made her way to the table at the back, the only one occupied at the moment. And though it was unlikely, maybe if she kept the coffees filled, she'd make out with some good tips for the night.

The bell at the door jingled, making Cress glance up to see if Iko forgot something. But no, it was just another customer, already taking off his coat.

"Be with you in just a moment!" Cress called out, giving him a wave. The customer nodded back, seating himself in a booth near a window. Three customers was definitely a way to start the night off right.

"Soup's on!" Gilles called from the kitchen, and Cress dutifully went to the counter to grab the tray. Which didn't actually have soup, but he used that expression every time. She was so used to hearing it that it made her instinctually bolt upright whenever she did, even when she wasn't working.

After delivering the pie to the table at the back, she finally arrived at the new customer, grabbing a menu along the way.

"Hello, could I—um, uh." Cress stuttered, suddenly unable to form a sentence. Twinkling eyes looked up to meet her own and her mind went blank. "Um."

"Good evening," he said smoothly, pretending not to notice, "I don't need a menu, thanks. Just a cup of coffee." He tugged on his suit's sleeves, cufflinks glinting in the diner's light. Cress focused on that, no longer able to look him in the eye.

"R-right," Cress said, hugging the menu to her chest, "I'll be, um, right back. With the—" she choked, giving into a coughing fit that lasted too long, before continuing weakly—"the coffee."

Eyes wide, Cress turned on her heel and headed straight for the kitchen. She could feel her cheeks burning, lighting up her entire face with embarrassment. The song in the diner changed, giving pause to the music, so all that was heard was the squeak of Cress' sneaker as she walked away, away, away.

Gilles gave her a look as she came into the kitchen, door swinging behind her. But Cress didn't even notice as she slumped against the refrigerator, sliding down to the floor.

 _Stars above!_ What the hell was wrong with her all of a sudden? A pretty face walks in and she immediately loses her head. It was like meeting Winter for the first time all over again. Though, he was more than just pretty... He had that roguishly handsome look about him, with rumpled hair and that charming smile… Pressing her face against the menu, she stifled a groan.

"Are there no more customers out?" Gilles asked from his place at the counter.

Cress lifted up one finger, not even looking up. "I just need a moment."

Mortification made her wish the floor would swallow her up, the scene replaying itself over and over again in her mind. There was no coming back from that, that much she knew. But at least the first impression was out of the way, as terrible as it was. She could still get through this, as long as she didn't do anything else that was incredibly stupid.

"Any coffee left?" Cress asked, picking herself up from the floor.

"You tell me," Gilles replied, checking the pots on the stove.

Peering into the coffee pot, she frowned. As strangely as she'd acted, maybe all would be forgiven if the coffee was good enough. That much she could do, at least.

A few minutes later, Cress made her out of the kitchen with fresh coffee and a set resolve.

"Here you go," Cress said, carefully placing the cup in front of the handsome stranger. She put the sugar and cream next to it, before straightening up and forcing a smile. "You sure there's nothing else I could get you?"

The man smiled, tilting his head slightly. "How about some company?"

Cress blinked, her smile frozen. This night really wasn't making it easy for her. "Ah, um…"

"If you're not too busy, of course," he said as she glanced at the table at the back, "But I can wait."

There were only the two college students at the back, wrapped up in their books. The only thing they needed from her was coffee.

Before she could think about it too much, Cress slid into the booth. "Cress," she said, holding out her hand.

The man smiled, taking it. "Carswell Thorne."


	6. Chapter 6

"You're sure you don't want to come?" Scarlet asked, hesitantly grabbing her boots from the closet.

Her _grandmère_ waved her away. "Scarlet, please. I'm too old for these kinds of things."

Ze'ev blinked. That hardly seemed true, especially since this was the same woman that had expertly climbed the teetering ladder to patch up a hole in the barn's roof earlier this week.

Scarlet didn't look convinced, either. "We don't have to stay for long. But it's Winter's End, we go every year."

Ze'ev had never actually gone to the Winter's End Festival before, despite it being the city's biggest attraction. Well, really, the city's only attraction. There wasn't much left nowadays, not after the dwindling economy had evicted most of the residents and businesses years ago.

" _Grandmère_ …" Scarlet frowned, and Ze'ev noticed she still hadn't put her boots on.

"The more the merrier," he cut in, but Michelle just shook her head.

"Let's not make a whole cheese about it," she said, which didn't make any sense to Ze'ev, but he was used to their weird expressions. "You two go and have fun and don't worry about me. I've been to enough of these festivals to last me a lifetime."

That just made Scarlet's frown deepen, but she finally put on her boots nonetheless. "We'll be back before midnight."

"Have a good time, Cinderella," Michelle teased, reaching out to adjust Scarlet's hat.

"Want us to bring you back anything?" Scarlet asked, still hesitating at the door. But her grandmother just shook her head again, pushing them both out the door.

"Wanna drive?" Ze'ev asked, offering Scarlet the keys. She took them, a sigh coming out of her mouth as a puff in the freezing air. "Everything okay?"

Scarlet shook her head, climbing into the truck. Ze'ev closed the door behind her, before making his way to the other side.

"I mean, everything _is_ okay," Scarlet said when he got in. "I'm just worried about her."

Ze'ev thought back to Michelle, trying to figure out if there was anything off. "She seems alright to me."

"I know, I know, I just…" Scarlet sighed, pressing her forehead against the steering wheel. "Ever since I got her back, it's not the same. I'm worried that there's something she's not telling me."

Ze'ev's mind flashed to Winter for a brief moment. He had been feeling the same way about her for quite some time, wondering where this sudden distance came from. It could very well be his imagination, the fact that he becoming more integrated with Benoit Farms and busier than ever meant they couldn't see each other like he used to. But in the back of his mind, he wondered if maybe she was feeling the distance, too.

"We just have to trust that she'll come to us if she needs help," Ze'ev said quietly, "There's no point in pushing her into talking."

Scarlet looked at him for a moment, going over his words, before nodding. "I guess so."

Ze'ev smiled, watching as she put the key into the ignition. "Better not to make any cheese, right?"

It took Scarlet a second to register what he meant and burst into laughter. He scratched the back of his neck, slightly embarrassed, but glad to have made her smile.

"That's not it," Scarlet said, putting the truck in reverse, "It's french. _Faire tout un fromage_. But yeah." She glanced at him and grinned. "Close enough."

* * *

Cinder watched the television screen, trying to concentrate on the show instead of Kai, who was holding onto her left hand in an attempt to warm the prosthesis. After a stressful and busy week, they both agreed to stay in for the night instead of going to the festival. His fingers brushed against the skin on her wrist every so often, making her lose focus every time.

"Would you stop that?" Cinder asked, trying to pull her hand out of his grasp.

"With such a warm heart, who could ever imagine you with cold hands?" Kai said dryly, but let go. His eyes didn't leave her though, which was even more distracting.

"What?" Cinder asked, self-consciously pushing the hair out of her face.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Kai raised his eyebrows. "What's gotten into you tonight?"

"Nothing, I'm fine," Cinder said automatically. A beat passed, neither one of them saying anything else. Then Cinder sighed, leaning her head back on the couch cushions. "Sorry, I've just had some issues with clients this past week. Nothing I can't handle, just… more stress than it's worth."

"Anything I can do to help?" Kai asked, concern furrowing his brow.

"No, no, it's pretty much all done now," Cinder said, running her fingers through her hair, "I'm just really, really glad that this week is over."

She looked up, squinting to see Kai in the dim lighting. He looked so handsome, even with his forehead creased and that worried frown on his face. She felt a pang of regret in her chest; Kai didn't deserve this. She still sometimes wondered how she managed to score such an understanding boyfriend, since by all counts, it didn't make sense. Trying, and failing, to suppress her smile, Cinder mumbled, "And really, really glad that you're here right now."

Kai relaxed next to her at that, letting out a breath. "That makes the two of us," he said and pulled her close, kissing her forehead lightly. After a moment, he held out his hand in front of her expectantly. Cinder smiled, knowing exactly what he wanted, and put her left hand back into his.

"This is really intense for something that was built years ago," he said, turning her hand over, "Top grade-A level stuff."

Cinder shrugged. "Well, with my dad as a biomechanical engineer, I had to look my best."

Kai glanced up at her and gave her a heart-stopping smile. "Yeah, I'm sure you do."

Cinder rolled her eyes, internally glad that she rarely ever blushed. She looked back at the television. They had missed the better part of the episode and Cinder wondered for a moment if they should restart from the beginning or just skip it entirely.

"Although, I have to admit," Kai said softly, "You are one of the best looking mechanics I've ever seen."

That got him the reaction he was looking for. It sufficed to say, the rest of the episodes weren't going to be watched, either.


	7. Chapter 7

He closed the door behind him, rubbing his hands together in an effort to get rid of the strange feeling left behind by rubber gloves. A clock on the wall said there were only a few minutes left until noon and he sighed. There was just never any time to catch his breath.

Walking into the busy lobby, Jacin was about to ask the reception where he could find his resident when she caught his eye.

Winter was gazing out one of the windows as she waited, tapping her feet to an unheard song. Her curls were wild today and, paired with the strangely mismatched outfit, she looked like a mess. But it was a really, really cute mess.

He barely even had a second to feel embarrassed before she noticed him.

"Hey Doc!" Winter called out from across the room, giving him a little wave. She picked herself up off the floor, where she'd been kneeling next to a kiddie table, and brushed off her jeans.

"Winter," Jacin said, pausing. He put down his clipboard, trying to gather his thoughts and ignore the increasing tempo in his chest. When he approached, she smiled so radiantly, it took him a moment to remember how to breathe.

"Sorry, is this a bad time?" Winter asked, wrinkling her brow. "I can come back later."

"No, no," Jacin said, quickly, "I was just… Did something happen again?" _Are you okay? Why are you in the hospital again?_

Winter smiled and he could feel his pulse speed up. _Are you here to see me?_

"Nothing too bad," Winter said cheerfully, "Just a few scrapes."

He frowned. "Again?" Jacin gave her a quick scan, searching for any injuries. It made him feel sick, knowing that she got hurt so often and that there was definitely more to the story that she was not telling him.

Winter shook her head. "That's not why I'm here. It's just that time of month again."

Jacin choked.

"No, no, not _that_ ," Winter said quickly, watching Jacin's face grow red as he coughed, "It's the end of the month? I, um, need more of my medication?"

"Right." Jacin's voice was hoarse in an effort to suppress his coughing fit.

"Do you need to sit down?" Amusement flitted over Winter's features. "Or maybe a glass of water?"

"No, I'm fine," Jacin said, straightening, "But I'm sorry. I only helped last time because it was an emergency." He hesitated, watching as Winter's cheerful demeanor retreated back into her. "I'm just not a doctor yet. Or even a pharmacist. I can't give out any medicine."

"Right," Winter said, after a moment, "I'm sorry then. I didn't mean to put you in that position."

Jacin could feel her slipping away. Before he could stop himself, he took hold of her arm.

Winter flinched. Surprised, he immediately let go.

"Uh, I apologize," he said, noting that this conversation was made up of apologies more than anything else, "I just... I can't help. But Dr. Kinney downstairs? The one we spoke to last time? If you give him the prescription your doctor gave you, he'll fill it up no problem. He works overtime a lot anyway."

Winter paused, before nodding in understanding. But Jacin could still feel the hidden distance between them, the barrier she put up behind her smile.

"Yeah, that makes sense," Winter said, shrugging almost sheepishly, "I should've known."

"Do you need me to walk you there?" Jacin asked. "It's on my way." Which was a complete lie, but she didn't need to know that.

"Sure," Winter said, "That would actually be great. I'll just get my coat."

She smiled brighter then, and Jacin started feeling better as the space between them began to lessen.

He glanced down at the kid craft table that was set in the reception area, a few papers covered in colourful scribbles.

"Oh, yeah," Winter came up behind him, "I playing with a kid while I waited for you."

"How old was he?" Jacin asked, picking up a sheet with a messy yellow shape.

"Around two? Maybe three?" Winter shrugged.

"Not bad for a three-year-old," he said.

"Oh. Um, I drew that." Winter looked down at the paper, biting her lip as a blush spread through her face. "The kid took all of his with him."

Jacin raised his eyebrows. "Yeah, um, not bad for a twenty-five-year-old, too. Great, even. I mean, this… this…" He had no idea what to say. _Banana?_ It was yellow after all.

"It's a duck," Winter said, wincing slightly. She was turning a more intense red at every passing second, a fact only apparent due to the bright lighting of the hospital.

"Duck, of course," Jacin nodded quickly, desperate for a way to fix this, "I was going to say goose, but you're right. I mean, even the beak"— he gestured to an orange squiggle—"is totally a duck's and not at all goose-like—"

"Oh, that's its foot," Winter said hopelessly, before putting her face in her hands.

" _What?_ Its _foot?_ Why is the foot—" Jacin stopped himself. Winter's shoulders were shaking and he had a terrible feeling that she was crying.

"Hey, no, it's great, really," Jacin said. He gave her an awkward pat on the back. "I mean, just because you don't know a duck's anatomy doesn't mean—"

When Winter looked up, she was laughing. "Jacin, it's _okay_. I know it's a terrible duck."

He felt relieved that she wasn't upset. "I thought it might be a banana at first."

Winter laughed even harder, covering her red cheeks with her fingers. A fuzzy feeling warmed in his chest.

This kind of laughter seemed out of place in the hospital. Everything about this place was sharp, cold. Even the fluorescent lights were harsh, overcoming any natural light that made it through the windows.

And Winter was right in the middle of it all, surrounded by the stark white walls and somber faces. The hard metal chairs and marble tiles. Winter and all her smiles and messy outfits did everything but belong in the unforgiving place.

But there was nowhere else that Jacin wanted her more. Because every time she showed up, she managed to bring something with her that he'd never felt before.

* * *

Blinking through her grogginess, Scarlet rolled onto her back. Ze'ev's arms and the bed sheets suddenly seemed too hot, and for some reason, she could still smell the grease of the fried festival food.

And all of a sudden, it seemed like too much and Scarlet could feel her stomach squirming. Swallowing hard, she got out of bed and clenched her teeth together, praying that she'd make it to the bathroom.

Not bothering with the light, Scarlet bent over the toilet, heaving up everything she'd eaten a few hours before. It took a few moments until her stomach was calm enough to let her sit back, and she coughed, flushing the toilet.

Scarlet leaned back, resting her head against the the cool tiles on the wall. She still felt incredibly hot and her body ached all over. Scarlet tried to go through all her options, but everything was starting to add up a little too well. And it was only a matter of time before she had to admit the inevitable.

Burying her face in her hands, Scarlet groaned.

"Shit."


	8. Chapter 9

Scarlet fidgeted against the counter as Ze'ev took a sip. He closed his eyes and she cracked a smile. He always took tasting her cooking so seriously, it was adorable.

"Okay, let's see," Ze'ev said, licking his lips then turning back to Scarlet, "Tomatoes."

"Obviously," Scarlet said, unimpressed. It was tomato soup after all.

"Chicken."

"Yup."

"Onions."

"Uh-huh."

"Carrots, cauliflower, cream, parsley…"

Ze'ev rattled off the rest of the ingredients. It really was amazing how well his senses of taste and smell worked. Out of this world, as her grandmother liked to say.

Scarlet tapped her fingers against the ladle, shifting her weight. One thing was for certain: Ze'ev would always eat what she cooked up, no matter what.

"…and did I detect a hint of basil?" Ze'ev finished, raising one eyebrow, as if daring her to challenge his triumph. It was always so attractive when he did that, but Scarlet wasn't really feeling anything other than the nerves in her stomach.

"You got it," Scarlet said and gave a quick smile, "Now there's garlic bread in the oven and I also made—"

"Hold up," Ze'ev said, and reached out to touch her arm. She stopped, but didn't look up, not quite ready to meet his eyes.

"Yeah?" Scarlet asked, keeping her voice level.

"Scarlet, what's going on?" She could hear the worry his voice and she slumped against the counter.

"Scarlet?" Ze'ev ducked in front of her, leaning down to meet her eyes. "Did something happen?"

"You …you love me, right?"

It was a pitiable thing to say. Something Scarlet would never ask under normal circumstances. But at the moment, normal was the last thing she was feeling. And she could really use some reassurance before everything came out.

"Of course," Ze'ev said immediately, pulling her close. She could feel the thoughts racing in his mind, trying to figure what exactly was going on. "Scarlet, you know I do."

"I'm pregnant."

There. She said it. Kind of. She was pressed up against his chest, the words muffled by his sweater.

"What?"

Ze'ev pulled away, holding her at arms length. His eyes were wide and serious, staring straight into her own.

"I'm, ah, um—"

"Really?" The grip on her arms loosened as he looked down at her abdomen. Her knees were weak and, without him holding her, Scarlet felt like she was about to collapse.

"It's—it's only been eight weeks," she murmured, staring at the floor, "I'm not showing yet."

" _Eight weeks?_ "

To her surprise, Ze'ev dropped his hands. Scarlet swallowed the lump in her throat, leaning against the counter for support as he rubbed his face tiredly. Her confidence was draining with every passing minute and it made her heart pound, not knowing what could happen. "What?"

"Did you know this whole time?" Ze'ev asked, turning his intense gaze onto her.

"Just for a couple weeks," Scarlet said. She was trying to gauge his reaction, suddenly terrified that maybe she'd been reading everything wrong. "I went to the doctor the other day. He, um, gave me a sonogram."

"You went without me?" His expression was unreadable as he searched her eyes. Was he waiting for something from her? "Are you…?"

"I'm keeping it," Scarlet confirmed, clutching the countertop to stop her hands from trembling. And there it was, all out in the open now. Scarlet wasn't sure if she was more relieved or terrified.

Suddenly, Ze'ev collapsed onto her. He buried his face into the crook of her neck, muttering something along the lines of " _Oh, thank the stars"_ into her skin.

"Ze'ev...?" Scarlet put her hands around him tentatively. He started kissing her, nuzzling the part of her neck that he knew tickled. She bit back a laugh. "What are you…?"

"This is the best news you could've told me," he whispered, and kissed her ear before moving away slightly so he could look at her. The green in his eyes seemed brighter than ever before.

Scarlet felt her eyes start to burn, much to her embarrassment. "You're really happy about this?"

"Of course," Ze'ev said, his nose brushing against hers, "Were you expecting something else?"

"Well, I just, um," Scarlet faltered, not sure how to continue, "I was planning on going through with it the moment I discovered I was pregnant and, um, well, we're not married and—"

"Scarlet, I would never _ever_ leave you," Ze'ev said, his gaze fierce, "And if you're worried about not being married, then, uh"—he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and a few hair strands fell over his eyes—"let's get married."

Scarlet raised her eyebrows, momentarily speechless. "Are you proposing to me right now?"

Ze'ev turned pink. "Well, I-I don't have a ring, and it's not exactly romantic, but—"

Scarlet laughed, partly out of relief and partly out of disbelief. Pressing her lips to the corner of his mouth, she pulled him close, afraid that after everything that had just happened, if she let go, she'd find it was a dream and she was still alone.

"So is that a yes?"

Scarlet smiled, cheeks flushing. "Of course, you idiot."

Ze'ev grinned back, before moving back to kiss her again. "I still can't believe you went without me."

Despite the smile, Scarlet could hear the hurt in his voice. "I just wanted to confirm everything. There would be no point in telling you if it was just a misunderstanding."

Ze'ev frowned, shaking his head slightly. She brushed his hair away from his eyes, then moved her hand down to smooth out the wrinkles on his face. "But you're definitely coming with me to the next one."

He caught her hand with his own, kissing her palm lightly. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."


	9. Chapter 10

There was something about Aimery. Something that he'd only ever shown her, and even then, reluctantly. The vulnerable, soft side that made her heart ache with the need to protect him.

Winter remembered one night, afterwards, they were laying awake on the bed, pressing gentle kisses upon each other's skin. Neither of them was fully awake and words started to slip out, their histories brought to light in the dark.

She'd told him a lot more than she'd meant to. It was something about the warmth of the bed and his arms, the relief and comfort that came from being with someone who only had eyes for you.

Her past started to spill out, all the details that she'd kept hidden for so long. Everything that broke her heart, that made her laugh, that she was so ashamed of. And Aimery listened. He was there for her then, only her, something Winter didn't even realize how desperately she needed.

In turn, she listened to him, too. Winter stayed quiet as he recounted his life, the bitterness that came from growing up in poverty, helpless and alone. The powerlessness that came from his father's hand and his mother's tears.

It hurt to hear the pain in his voice, but she didn't interrupt. Not even when he got so angry, tears started running down his face. Not even to ask how his mother could stand by when she knew what her son was going through.

It was something that stayed with her for a long time after. Winter had never really had a mother, never getting the chance to know her own. But she couldn't imagine how one could let something like that happen to her own child.

It was only until after Aimery started demonstrating how much he really took after his father that she began to understand. There was only so much you could do, only so much you could take. There were days where Winter couldn't even recognize herself anymore.

There were times when every part of her hurt, like she was one big bruise, and it took all that was left of her to keep herself together. Sometimes, even when there was no longer any mark, Winter could feel the ache in her shoulder, on her wrist, above her hip. Because it never really left her, and all her energy and strength was put into pushing past the pain so that she could continue.

It was exhausting and humiliating, and it took so much out of her that she couldn't imagine doing it for two.

Once, when Iko and Cress were discussing boys during a shift, Aimery came up. They teased Winter, playfully throwing in a question about any upcoming weddings.

It had thrown her, but she swallowed her surprise with a " _Not yet."_ And for the rest of the shift, the rest of the day, Winter's mind played on repeat. _Not yet. Not yet._

She never let herself think about marriage when it came to Aimery, never gave into the want for something permanent. For her, Aimery was fine as a boyfriend. It wasn't perfect, but was there for her and she needed him.

As his girlfriend, she didn't have to commit to everything, and it kept the hurt at bay to know that it wouldn't last. She could leave at any time and it wouldn't be that big of a deal.

But marriage? Her heart sank at the thought. Once she was married, there would be no way out. They would stay together and Winter would hardly be able to protect herself, let alone any children.

That terrified her more than anything, knowing that she could have a daughter or son and not be able to stop Aimery. She couldn't leave them at his mercy, because she knew first-hand that he didn't have any.

But she also knew that she couldn't leave him. Aimery was the only constant in her life. The only one that didn't waver and that wouldn't leave her. And deep down, she knew that any power that she deluded herself into thinking she had over their relationship, didn't exist. Winter could never leave him. She didn't have what it took. She always said yes in the end. Because that yes was what helped her believe she still had a choice.

But in reality, it was all up to him. And if he decided that they should get married, Winter wouldn't be able to say no.


	10. Chapter 15

Cinder gave them an incredulous look before walking away, back into her office.

Kai smiled stupidly as he watched her go.

"Man, you're a goner," Thorne said, loosening his tie.

"Don't I know it," Kai replied, staring at the office door for a moment, then turned to look at Thorne, "But trust me. One day, you'll get it."

Thorne grinned. "That'll be a sad day for single women everywhere."

Kai laughed, clapping him on the shoulder. "We'll all be mourning. But hey, wanna grab a drink? We were thinking of heading to that bar downtown. And Iko'll be there, too, so you won't be alone."

"Actually, I think I'm gonna pass," Thorne said, "I have a few things I still have left to do."

"Wait," Kai said, looking at him curiously, "Does this by any chance have to do with the girl Cinder mentioned before? Looks like that day will be coming sooner than we expect. I mean, it's been, what? Three months already?"

Thorne shrugged, trying not to feel embarrassed. "Four, yeah. But no, I'm finishing up a case this week and I still have to go through some files before the court date."

"Right, right," Kai said, an annoyingly knowing smile on his face, "Good luck then."

Thorne got back into his car, not really sure what exactly Kai was wishing him good luck for, but not really wanting to ask.

* * *

"Oh, and…"

Thorne scanned the candy on the racks, before picking out a chocolate bar. Cheap, gas station candy, but good for that late-night boost when finishing up paperwork.

His mind immediately flitted to Cress and all those times she insisted that apples and fruits in general were better than all that modified sugar.

Thorne shook his head as the cashier rang him up. Ever since he left Cinder's garage, Kai's comments stuck with him and thoughts of Cress wouldn't leave his mind in peace.

It wasn't bad or anything; in fact, Thorne loved thinking about Cress. But the more he did, the less and less appealing the stack of papers sitting at home seemed.

"Fifty-two, eighteen," the cashier said, in a half-asleep voice from the night shift.

Thorne dug around his wallet, suddenly remembering a conversation he had a long time ago as a kid. His parents were almost never home, but his nanny always reassured him that they thought about him all the time.

" _That's how you know they love you," she'd say, "Because love isn't a simply yes or no. It's the little things."_

To kid Carswell, that just seemed like another excuse. Sure, they were never around. But at least they _thought_ about him.

" _Little things?"_ Thorne remembered himself asking wearily.

 _His nanny gave him a sad smile. "Little things. Like doing the laundry for someone when they're tired. Or trying their tea before giving it to them to make sure it's just right. Or just wanting to be with them when you're not, because they feel like home."_

All of sudden, it seemed like all the air left his lungs. Because now, it wasn't about his parents. It hadn't been about them for a long time now.

Now, it was about Cress and how he felt everything about her. All those 'little things' were there and it was terrifying and exhilarating all at once.

"I think I'm in love with her," Thorne murmured to himself, disbelieving.

"Sir?" The cashier raised his eyebrows, holding out the change and the receipt.

"I'm in love with her," Thorne said, louder and more determined. In that moment, he knew exactly what he needed to do.

"Sir, your-your stuff!" The cashier called out after him, but Thorne was already out the door.

* * *

Cress frowned, staring at herself in the mirror. Iko said the strawberry-avocado face mask would supposedly work wonders for her skin, but so far, Cress wasn't seeing any results. Was she applying it wrong or something?

Glancing at the back of the packet, Cress tried to find something more helpful than ravings about how amazing her pores would look in two weeks.

 _Lies_.

A knock at the front door startled her, making her almost drop the packet. It was loud and insistent, but Cress couldn't remember making any plans for tonight.

"Coming!" Cress called, adjusting the towel on top of her head. She looked kind of ridiculous, but really, nobody was expecting her to look her best at one in the morning. And she was sure that it was most likely her landlord or neighbour or something. All of which had already seen her in a much worse state, due to a certain Baking Incident that she refused to commit to memory.

The knocking continued, growing more determined. Grumbling to herself, Cress unlocked the six locks on her door before wrenching it open.

"Carswell?"

Suddenly, Cress wanted nothing more than slam the door and change into something more presentable. This was a new, almost-four-month-long relationship. Way, way, _way_ too early for her boyfriend to be seeing her like this.

"Cress," Thorne said, and breathed out a sigh. The way he said her name made her stomach flutter, but she did her best to ignore it as she tried to figure out what he was doing at her place.

"Carswell, what—?" Cress took in his appearance. "Why are you soaking wet? What happened?"

"It's raining outside," Thorne said dismissively, as if that were the most obvious thing in the world. His suit was creating a puddle outside her door and his hair was plastered to his temple, drops of water running down his face.

 _Right_ , Cress thought to herself, _And you, what, jogged to my apartment in the rain?_

"Cress, there's something I need to say to you," Thorne said, looking at her seriously, "And I—"

"Do you want to come in?" Cress cut him off, all too aware of light turning on in her neighbours' apartments. "And get you dried off, maybe?"

Unable to hold off her laughter all of a sudden, Cress took his drenched sleeve and pulled him inside. Giggling, she brushed the dripping hair off his forehead.

"You look ridiculous," she said, grinning. "But then again, I don't really look my best right now, either."

"No, Cress," Thorne said, lifting his hand to her cheek, "You're beautiful."

"Sorry?" Cress asked, wrinkling her nose, not sure she heard that right. But then he was kissing her, and all her thoughts flew out of her mind.

It no longer mattered how weird she looked at the moment, or that Thorne was completely soaked and dripping onto her rug. She suddenly didn't care about anything at all.

And just as quickly, he pulled away, burying his face in her shoulder, lips pressed gently against her neck.

She lifted a hand to gingerly touch the top of his head. "Carswell?"

"I... ove you..."

Cress froze, not sure she had heard that correctly. "W-what?"

Thorne pressed his forehead against hers, neither of them noticing the rainwater drip down onto her face mask. "Crescent Moon Darnel, I think I'm in love you."


	11. Chapter 16

Thorne's mouth roamed freely down her neck, his nose brushing against her soft skin. Everytime she made a sound, he could feel it on his lips. She ran her fingers through his hair, driving him wild.

They were sitting on her couch and Thorne could barely remember the last time they'd been alone, _really_ alone. He could barely remember anything right now, actually, his mind drawing a blank as she kissed him.

It was incredible. He had Cress all to himself and there was still so much of her that he didn't know. Her lips, for instance, were already so much on their own. They were soft, delicate in their pressing against his own. The bend of her mouth drove every thought from his mind, leaving him completely exposed. Her kisses made him breathless, dazed.

And he loved her jaw. Sometimes, he would look at her and it was all he saw. Was it possible to be attracted to just someone's jawline? The elegant curve around to her ear, the creamy skin making his stomach clench. When he kissed it, its softness bruised his lips.

Her eyes, her back, her legs… Cress was stunning. He couldn't get enough. The scent of flowers overwhelmed him every time he breathed in. She was mesmerizing and he wondered how it took him so long to realize that.

Her hands played with the hem of his shirt now, occasionally brushing her fingers against his back. It sent shivers up his spine until he couldn't take it anymore, pulling off his shirt with one hand.

Cress sucked in a breath, eyes running over his chest. He grinned, pulling her closer. Their mouths met and heat pooled in his stomach. She pressed herself against him, hands wandering across his back. They kissed until he could no longer breathe.

Thorne pulled back slightly, giving her room to breathe. She rested her forehead against his shoulder, her hair tickling his throat.

"I want you to meet my family," he said quietly, his breath blowing past her ear.

"What family?" Cress asked, stupid from kissing.

" _My_ family, silly," Thorne said lightly, lips pressing against her ear gently between words. "My parents or whatever."

Cress tried to wrap her head around his request, but his lips were still brushing against her ear and she couldn't concentrate. Pulling back, she looked at him. "Are you sure? Do they want to meet me?"

Thorne raised his eyebrows. "Of course. Why wouldn't they?"

"I don't know," Cress said, almost bitterly, "I'm just another one of your girls to them, right?"

"'One of my girls?'" Thorne repeated, bewildered, wondering where exactly that came from. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing! No, I just," Cress said, trying to voice her insecurities and dissolve her jealousy, "I can't have been the first."

"I don't see what that has to do with anything," Thorne said, frowning, "Not that there really were any other girls. Except in the way you're thinking, anyway."

"And what way is that?" Cress asked, tensing.

"Sex?" Thorne asked, "That was what you meant, right?"

Cress turned red, but didn't say anything else. He sighed.

"You don't have to worry about 'other girls'," he said, "I've only ever really had flings. There's not really anyone else that I've had a serious relationship with."

Cress blinked in surprise. "Wait, you've never… loved someone?" She pulled back from him, a weird expression on her face as she moved over to the other side of the bed. Her hair fell over her face and she looked hard at the floor.

"Is that such a bad thing?" Thorne asked, feeling weirdly embarrassed. "Between school and the firm and my so-called 'abandonment issues', there just wasn't ever really any chance to start something serious."

Cress looked back at him, suddenly anxious. She tucked her hair behind her ear, eyes wide.

"Cress, what's going on?" Thorne asked, sitting up. "Did… did I say something wrong?"

She shook her head hesitantly. "No, no, it's not you. It's just… this changes some stuff."

Thorne swallowed. "Like what?"

"Well, I just always thought that you'd already… that you were serious at one point, so it wouldn't be that big of a deal," Cress said nervously.

He squinted at her, trying to understand. "You've… been with someone?"

Cress nodded weakly, looking like she was going to cry.

"Hey, hey." Thorne's eyes widened. "It's not a big deal. I don't actually care, really."

She sniffled. "It's not that. I'm just so mad at myself." She put her face in her hands, muffling her voice. "He was such a jerk, only using me for stuff. And he… well, I thought we were in love."

Thorne got a sick feeling in his stomach. "What happened?" he asked, not really understanding. Or maybe just not wanting to.

"It doesn't matter now," she said, voice trembling. She was avoiding the question and he didn't press. "I just wish that you could've been my first." Her tears broke something inside of him, making him want to reach over and erase all her pain.

"Hey." Thorne tugged on her shirt sleeve. She looked over and he smiled gently. "I can still be your first. Forget him. I'll be your, um, _real_ first. The one that counts"

She let out a quiet laugh, wiping her eyes. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," he said, pulling her closer.

She smiled softly. "I'd like that."

* * *

"Mm, I love the way you smell," Cress said, burying her face in his chest. They were lying on his bunk, squeezing together to fit into the narrow bed.

"What way?" He asked, tracing the curve of her back.

"Like something expensive."

"'Something expensive'?"

Cress propped herself on her elbows, pressing into his chest. "You can't tell me it's not true. I've seen the colognes you wear."

"Whatever. You smell better anyway."

"Yeah?" She raised an eyebrow. It drove him crazy when she did that, and he kissed it.

"Mhm. Like, um, warm rain on a sidewalk." He wasn't sure how exactly that smelled, but she gave him that same, comforting feeling every time he breathed her in.

"That doesn't sound that great," Cress laughed, scrunching her nose.

"You can't fool me," he teased, "I'm already in love with it."

She smiled stupidly at him, cheeks flushing. He grinned back, kissing them both.


	12. Chapter 18

"Pfft." Iko waved her hand carelessly. "I don't need a man. What's he going to do for me that I can't already do for myself?"

"Um, babies?" Cress said, turning slightly red.

"Cress, let me tell you something," Iko said, "If all your man can offer you is kids, then you need to get out quick."

"She's right," Winter said, coming up to catch the last part of their conversation. "A man should be there to make you happy. To make you feel like the sun will never stop shining."

Iko watched Winter stare off into the distance dreamily and shook her head, smiling. "Yeah, that. You ever need any pointers, you can always look at Winter and Aimery."

Winter blinked. Nervously pushing down her protests, she smiled at her friends. She hadn't actually been thinking about Aimery at that moment. There were times where she still daydreamed like a teenager, thinking up her perfect man, despite everything she felt for Aimery. It felt like a betrayal on her part, but it gave her a chance to escape from her problems and she couldn't stop.

"He does make me happy," Cress said quietly and bit her lip. Iko and Winter smiled at each other.

"Good," Iko said, "You deserve everything finally working out."

Cress grinned, then her eyes lit up. "Oh, Winter! I didn't tell you, did I?"

Winter shook her head, Cress' sudden excitement making her stand on her toes. "What?"

"I got a job! There's a tech firm just out of town that wants to hire me when I graduate!"

"What? Cress, that's amazing!" Winter hugged her friend, laughing along with her. "Not at all surprising, of course."

"That's what I've been telling her," Iko said, "Her skills are too good for anyone to turn her down." She tousled Cress' hair, who was obviously too happy with her news to care at that moment.

"We should celebrate or something," Winter said as she sat down, the excitement making her forget herself, "I mean, wow! And I guess can't quit now and leave Iko here by herself." Cress laughed, shrugging as Winter nudged her with an elbow.

"Actually, you may not have to worry about that," Iko said, a mysterious smile on her lips, "'Cause I may or may not have gotten a paid internship in

New York."

Cress put her hands over her mouth. "No. Way."

"Iko, seriously?" Winter jumped from her seat. "New York?"

"Yup," Iko said, like it was nothing, "It's a for magazine editor, and if all goes well, I'll have a job that puts my journalism degree to good use."

"Iko! Why didn't you say something!" Winter hugged Iko's head while she stayed sitting, and kissed the beautiful blue braids.

"Honestly! You let me talk for half an hour about my tech job and you didn't even say anything?" Cress exclaimed, pushing Iko's shoulder half-heartedly.

Iko laughed, their enthusiasm on her part making her give into her excitement. "Sorry, sorry! I just wanted to tell you both!"

"Wow, New York? For real?" Winter sat back in her seat, the information starting to sink in.

"Yeah, crazy, right?" Iko grinned, resting her chin in her hands. "Feels like I'm finally getting somewhere."

"You'll have to invite us over," Cress said, "We are _not_ losing touch over this. I'm still expecting you to be one of my bridesmaids when the time comes."

"'Bridesmaids'?" Iko repeated, a mischievous glint in her eye, "Why, Cress, I didn't know things were going _that_ well…"

"No! No, I meant—"

Cress turned red again as Iko started teasing her about her relationship, but Winter suddenly felt miles away. Everyone was suddenly moving too fast, and Winter couldn't catch up. Was this really happening?

"Hey!"

The shout came from the kitchen, and Gilles' head popped out. "C'mon, ladies, break time's over."

"Saved by the bell," Iko said dryly and winked at Cress, who was still blushing. Winter managed a shaky smile, but she still felt barely there.

For the rest of her shift, Winter felt barely present. She still smiled at the customers, still laughed with Iko and Cress, but _she_ didn't. It was as if someone else was going through the motions for her, while she drifted along, trying not to lose herself.

It was pathetic, really. She had no right to feel the way she did. Cress and Iko had come to her with great news. To be acting this way really showed just how terrible a friend she was. They deserved better than a mopey mess that only thought about herself.

And they were going to get better. The walls seemed to close in around Winter, denying her lungs the space to breathe. Everyone was going to get better than her; they were going places that she could never reach.

Winter was being left behind. Everyone would find someone else. And maybe that was why, when they asked her if she wanted to go out, to celebrate their success, she said yes. Even with the aching in her heart and the consequences she knew were waiting for her when she got home.

* * *

Jacin slung the bag over his shoulder, doing his best to stifle a yawn. Pulling double shifts was pretty much required for any intern if they hoped for a good recommendation. And he was no exception. In fact, what he was really going for was a job offer from Artemisia, which was even more unlikely.

Running his fingers through his hair, Jacin pushed his way out of the locker room and toward the lobby. _Little by little…_

He blinked, stopping in the middle of the hall. Was that…?

"C'mon, man! Move out of the way!"

A nurse shoved past him, almost dislodging the bag from his shoulder. He glared at Jacin as he rushed past, carrying packets of blood.

"Ah, sorry…" Jacin raised his hands in a sort of surrender/apology, but he was already gone.

Not bothering to waste anymore time with that, Jacin took the last few steps to the lobby, scanning the late night crowd. And then, right next to the window, he spotted the wild, messy curls and smiled.

"Winter?" Jacin asked after making his way through the crowd. "What are you doing here so late?"

She stiffened, but didn't turn away from the window.

"Winter?" Jacin said again, on high alert now and growing more anxious by the second.

"Hey," she whispered, and turned to face him. His breath caught.

"Oh," Jacin said softly. Then, "Oh, Winter."

She forced a smile, wincing slightly. "It's really bad this time, huh?"

Her voice was hoarse, barely audible and it made the dread he was feeling seep into his core. Jacin wanted to reach out, to touch her, to smooth out the swelling and wipe away the blood. But Winter looked so fragile, he wasn't sure he wouldn't make things worse.

He stepped closer, shielding her from the crowd. "Winter, what happened?"

Instead of answering, her face crumpled and she clamped a hand over her mouth, muffling a sob. A tear leaked out of the swollen eye, trailing down the scars on her cheek. It hurt so much to see her like this, Jacin didn't even think twice about dropping his bag and holding her.

Winter cried into his arms, choking on the pain. Jacin tried to calm her down, not wanting to even think about how much it hurt to cry with a broken nose. He murmured nonsensical things, rubbing her arms in an effort to warm and comfort her.

After a few minutes, she seemed to calm a little, mumbling something between tears. Jacin swallowed, straining to hear.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Winter…?" Jacin angled his head, trying to catch a glimpse of her face.

"Everytime, I just… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."

Chest constricting painfully at her words, Jacin gently smoothed her hair out. "Winter, what are you talking about?"

But Winter only shook her head, hiding her face in her hands. She was trembling all over, tears dripping down her arms. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."

Jacin wasn't sure what was happening, but he knew enough that she needed some space, somewhere without so many people. "C'mon, let's find a room."

"Winter?"

Jacin looked up, an unfamiliar man entering the hospital lobby. He called her name again and Winter tensed. Jacin instinctively moved so that he was standing between them, despite the distance.

The man stalked up to the reception area as Jacin pulled back to look at Winter.

"Do you know him?" Jacin asked, wanting desperately for her to deny it, to dissipate all the thoughts that were crowding his mind.

"I'm sorry," Winter said again, her voice barely a whisper. She was still shaking, scaring the hell out of him.

"Winter?"

Jacin spun around, the man from earlier approaching them. He had an unreadable expression on his face, but it looked devastating.

"She's not—"

"Winter," the man said again, cutting off whatever Jacin was about to say. "Let's get you home, okay?"

Winter didn't say anything and the uneasy feeling in Jacin's stomach increased tenfold. "She's staying here tonight."

The man looked up sharply, frowning. "Thank you for your concern, doctor, but it has been a long night and—"

"Is there a problem here?"

A security guard stepped in, eyes flitting between the three of them. Jacin's heart was pounding, suddenly aware that stakes were getting higher. He opened his mouth to speak, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"No, no," Winter said, her voice straining to be heard, "It's all alright."

The man's gaze rested on her, and Jacin hated the expression on his face. He looked back at her, too, panic in his chest urging him to _do something_. "Winter…"

"Let's get going," the man said, tilting his head towards the door. "It's going to be dark out soon."

"Winter—"

She stopped Jacin with a smile, but it held none of her usual brightness. It somehow seemed to fit with the swelling on her face and all the tears that were still on her cheeks. "Thank you, Dr. Clay. But I'm alright now."

Glancing up at the man who was staring at them, waiting patiently, Jacin ducked down to look at Winter. "What's going on? Do you need me to call someone? To stop him?"

Winter shook her head, but fresh tears slipped out of her eyes. "No, Jacin, it's fine," she whispered, "I'm going to be okay."

It was incredible for her to expect him to believe that, especially looking the way she did now. Pulling on his shirtsleeve, he used it to gently wipe away the tears on her face. "Winter, you can talk to me."

She dropped her smile then, reaching over instead to squeeze his hand. "Thank you."

Winter looked up at him for a moment, like she wanted him to understand something, but then a beat passed and she let go, turning to the man. Jacin clenched his jaw, trying to decipher the multitude of thoughts and emotions in his head.

The two of them left, neither one glancing back at him as he struggled to figure out what she'd been trying to tell him.


	13. Chapter 19

"I think we should break up."

Kai froze. For a second, he wasn't sure he'd heard that correctly.

"What?"

Cinder dropped her gaze, moving her hands to her lap. "Think about it. With the way everything is headed…"

She looked up at him expectantly, but Kai had no idea how to reply. Just a moment before, he was so sure they were on the same page, and now _everything_ was wrong?

"What do you mean 'everything'?" Kai asked, leaning back in his chair. "What 'everything'?"

"Everything with us," Cinder said quietly.

Kai leaned forward, trying to look into her eyes. "Cinder, I need you to talk to me. I have no idea what you're trying to say."

"Kai, do honestly see a future together for us?" Cinder asked, her eyes flashing.

Kai swallowed. He could feel the box through the flimsy material of his coat pocket. It would bump against his chest whenever he shifted, reminding him of the reason for this dinner.

"What do—What are you—"

"Kai, your future is with your dad's company," Cinder said, "I know that better than anyone. And you've told me enough about how it's all going, to know that by this time next year, you'll probably be in Japan. And—"

Cinder stopped, looking at him, her shoulders shrugging helplessly. "And I'm not going anywhere, Kai. This is where I'm supposed to be."

"It doesn't have to be this way," Kai said, not sure if he was more frustrated or disappointed to see the most determined person he knew give up so easily. "I don't have to go to Japan. I can stay—"

"We both know that you would hate that," Cinder said, "You've put as much work into the Commonwealth as your dad. I can't be the reason you're staying behind. Kai, I've thought of all the possibilities. I've been trying to figure this out and—"

"We could visit each other," Kai said, growing more desperate, "Long distance relationships are hard, but they're not impossible. Especially for us. We could do it."

"You barely have enough time for everything now," Cinder said, "It's not going to get any better in Japan. And I just don't have the kind of money to be making constant trips to see you there. Even with everything I've saved so far."

Kai closed his eyes briefly, hating the thought of Cinder wasting everything she worked so hard for just to visit him. "I could—"

"No." Cinder's voice was firm. "I'm not going to take your money, Kai."

That was always the thing about Cinder that frustrated Kai more than anything. So many of their problems could be solved if Cinder just accepted some help. He loved her determination and independence, but sometimes it just seemed as though she was being purposefully difficult.

"Kai," Cinder said and sighed. She put her hand over his carefully, not looking at him. "I know how hard this is. This isn't—I'm not taking this lightly. I-I _love_ you, but I really think it would be best for both of us if we just—"

"Give up?" Kai interjected.

"—move on," Cinder said, and pressed her lips together.

Kai didn't reply, staring hard at their overlapping hands on the table.

"Our lives aren't headed in the same direction anymore," Cinder said softly, "And I don't want you to wake up one day and think that you missed your chance at getting what you wanted. Of what could've been. I can't do that to you."

Kai wanted to tell her that just the thought of being able to wake up next to her for the rest of his life was more than enough to dispel any doubts. But the look on her face, the hurt that she was trying to keep back, made him stay silent.

* * *

"How the hell am I supposed to feel about this?"

Winter let out a shaky breath. She could hear the rage humming beneath his words. She wanted to desperately walk out, leave before things got out of hand, to, at the very least, /move/. But she was frozen, ice spreading and cracking all over her legs.

"Damn it, Winter! Do you know how this makes me look? How much of an idiot I am made out to be?"

His face was so full of anger, so terrifying. But Winter couldn't look away, couldn't let herself blink, just in case she missed his next swing.

"You're _disgusting_. How many other men have you thrown yourself at? Have you been whoring around all this time?"

When Winter didn't, couldn't answer, Aimery lunged towards her. She cried out, grasping the banister as she almost tumbled down the stairs. Words of explanation, of pleading caught in her throat, panic constricting her lungs.

Aimery advanced towards her. Fury ignited his eyes, shouts exploding from his mouth. Horror gripped at her throat, raising the hair on the back of her neck. _Please, please, no—_

" _Answer me, you bitch!_ "

The impact knocked all the air out of her lungs. Winter lay on the floor, struggling to breathe. She hadn't even realized she had fallen down the stairs until she was already at the bottom. After a few moments, agony enveloped her. It spread in short bursts, shooting up her leg and through her spine. It hurt to breathe and Winter could barely manage the small gasps between waves of pain.

Somewhere, in the back of her mind, she registered the sound of a door slamming shut.


	14. Chapter 20

Winter forced herself to inhale slowly. Gasping for air everytime pain shot up her spine only made things worse and, now more than ever, she needed to be in control.

Her hallucinations seemed to be over or, at least the throbbing in her leg was keeping her grounded. Gritting her teeth, Winter stretched her arm out. Her cellphone had fallen just out of reach and her fingertips just brushed the edge. That only managed to push her phone even farther and Winter felt a wave of despair wash over her.

This was all her fault. If she had been more careful—hell, if she'd never gone to the hospital in the first place, this wouldn't have happened. She _knew_ Aimery would eventually find out, _knew_ that it would come to this. And now, not only was she getting what had been coming for her, but Jacin might as well. If she knew Aimery at all…

It was starting to get dark. The childish fear of being alone in the dark began to creep up on her and Winter wasn't sure if she had the strength to get through the night.

Sucking in a lungful of air, Winter used everything she had left to shift herself over and grab her cellphone. It was _agonizing_. The slightest movement had her crying out, and by the time she got a hold of her phone, she was a mess. It ended up taking her a few minutes to calm down enough just to stop the shaking in her hands.

Finally, Winter impatiently wiped her eyes and managed to send a text to Aimery. He'd left before he could see what state she was in, but if she told him, begged him to come help, Winter was certain Aimery wouldn't just leave her.

Moments passed. Seconds turned to minutes and Winter felt her panic rising with the ticking time. There wasn't even any indication that Aimery had seen her message.

This was it. This was the worst way to get to her and he knew it.

Winter clenched her teeth together and swallowed a scream. This was all her fault! How could have been so stupid? How could she have allowed it get so far? She deserved every last bit of anger from Aimery, because despite everything, she had felt something for Jacin and now she was paying for it. She would never see him again.

Her nerves were on edge and Winter wasn't sure if she could take much more. Everything hurt like hell and it was getting darker and she was all alone—

In a brief moment of wild panic, Winter dialled Ze'ev's number and swallowed her tears.

"Hello?" Hearing his rough voice over the receiver made her feel the smallest bit better.

"Hey, Ze'ev," Winter said thickly, almost bursting into tears, and quickly cleared her throat. "I, um, need a favour."

There was some shuffling in the background. "What's going on? Everything okay?"

"Yeah, uh—" Her hands started to shake again and Winter forced herself to take a deep breath. "Actually, funny thing—I fell down some stairs. Could you come get me? If-if you're not busy." She added the last part quietly, trying to downplay the seriousness, but she desperately hoped he wouldn't say no.

"What? Wow, Winter, how hard did you fall to make me come get you?"

There was a warm, teasing tone to his voice. She closed her eyes, imagining she was anywhere but there. "Sorry, is-is this a bad time?"

"Of course not," Ze'ev said dismissively, "Just tell me where you are. I'll come right now."

Winter felt the relief overwhelm her. "Thanks, so much. I-I'm at Aimery's."

There was a pause and Winter tightened the hold on her phone. "Ze'ev—?"

"I'll be there in ten." There was a sudden calm in his voice. Her heart rate sped up at the words he didn't say.

"Wait, Ze—"

To her dismay, only the dial tone sounded. This wasn't good. Ze'ev had always disliked Aimery, that much was clear. And despite her protests, he could somehow tell that not everything was as great as she insisted.

And now it was only a matter of time before he put two and two together. Winter's stomach dropped at the thought, the sudden realization that everything would be exposed, leaving her alone with her crushing shame.

Ze'ev wouldn't stand for this, and he would definitely make the choice that she didn't have the courage to do. Dread and anxiety mixed in her chest, pressing down on her lungs until she was sure she was suffocating.

Waves of panic were crashing onto her and she was buried deeper and deeper, the walls closing tighter. There was no good outcome, no possible way for this to end well, no chance that it would work out. Even if Ze'ev let them be, Aimery would never forgive her for this, and would never let her forget. The erratic pulse of pain in her leg dragged her farther down as she realized that the dark spots in her vision were handfuls of dirt and she couldn't climb her way out, not with everything hurting so much and she was losing and falling and—

"Winter? Aces and spades!"

There was someone there, but it was getting harder to breathe, the dirt filling her mouth everytime she opened it and she couldn't see, but her arms scrambled for something to hold onto—

"Breathe, slowly… In and out... Come on now… in and out... In and out..."

There was a sudden pressure on her chest and she focused on that, filling her lungs with air, doing her best not to choke.

"That's it, breathe. Winter, I'm here now. Just breathe."

The dirt cleared after a few minutes, or maybe it was never really there, and Winter clutched at the hand on her chest, squeezing it to anchor herself to reality. Blinking away the tears in her eyes, Winter squinted up at Aimery, who was looking down at her with a frown.

"We're going to have to get you to a hospital," he said finally, "And I'll have to talk to your doctor because whatever he's subscribing you is clearly not helping."

Winter didn't answer, still trying to focus on her breathing. Her head was clearing, trying to regroup after whatever nightmare she just lived through, but there was something tugging at her that was wrong, wrong, wrong.

"I'll have to call an ambulance," Aimery said, and Winter winced at his tone, or maybe just at the pain shooting up her leg, "It's better not to move you."

Aimery pulled out his phone, letting go of her hand. She missed his warmth the moment he let go, but Winter didn't open her mouth to say so.

The chime of the doorbell sounded, echoing through the house.

* * *

Ze'ev slammed his fist against the door, using all of his self-control to stop himself from breaking down the door. He's had it with Winter's excuses and protests that _everything was fine, fine_. It clearly wasn't and he hated himself for not doing anything about it earlier.

He'd known that Aimery was involved with the lowest of scum in their city, which pointed to the inevitability that he was, too. He'd always had a sneaking suspicion that there was something Winter was keeping from him and her phone call had confirmed everything he'd been thinking these past few months. Ze'ev didn't know why she had been protecting Aimery all this time, but it was finally the last straw.

"Open the door!" Ze'ev called out, banging against the small window. Scarlet stood off to the side as she pressed the doorbell again, giving him the space he desperately needed. With every second that ticked by, he was getting more and more tempted to just break it and open the door himself. Seriously, what was taking so—

"Ze'ev?"

Aimery was pulling open the door, an irritated look on his face.

"Where is she?" Ze'ev said, clenching his teeth in an attempt to keep his fist out of the man's face.

"What the hell is it to you?" Aimery asked, eyes narrowing.

"Listen here, you son of a—"

"Aimery," Scarlet said, placing a hand on Ze'ev's shoulder, holding him back. "Just tell us where she is. Don't make us involve the police."

"Please, if you don't call them, I will," Aimery said, a vein pulsing in his forehead. "This is my property and trespassing—"

"Spare me." Ze'ev pushed past him into the hallway. Something crunched underneath his boots and, looking down, he noticed glass shattered on the floor. A broken vase was lying in a puddle of water, flowers strewn around it. "What the hell...?"

"Fuck you, Kesley!" Aimery shouted, slamming the door against the wall, "Get the fuck out of my house!"

Ze'ev was practically shaking in rage himself. He could picture the scene, with Aimery yelling and smashing the vase on the ground, pushing Winter away until she fell.

"Did you call an ambulance?" Scarlet demanded, taking in the scene herself.

Aimery turned to her, eyes blazing. "Listen, Red, I don't—"

"Get away from her," Ze'ev growled, fists clenched at his sides. There was very little keeping him from slamming into Aimery and beating the shit out of him.

"I'm calling the police, you hear me?" Aimery said, fuming, "And I'm going to make sure you both go to hell."

Ze'ev ignored him, turning around to continue down the hall. There was more wreckage the farther he got, more things smashed and shattered.

"Winter?" Scarlet called out, right behind him. Ze'ev hated that she came with him, wanting nothing more than for her to have stayed back, but Scarlet wouldn't listen.

They heard a cough and, after looking at each other briefly, they hurried to the stairs at the end of the hallway, where Ze'ev saw her at the bottom. Winter opened her eyes and smiled.

"Hey, Ze'ev," Winter said weakly, "I knew you'd make it.

"Winter, what…

He couldn't continue. Ze'ev couldn't believe what he was seeing. Winter, the strongest woman he knew, the one that had been with him through the unimaginable, the person that had been his only family since he was a kid, was lying half-conscious at the bottom of a monster's stairs. Her broken form was trembling and Ze'ev could make out the unnatural twist of her leg. It took his eyes a second to adjust to the darkness, but he realized that she was lying in a pool of blood.

"Winter." Scarlet rushed down the stairs with Ze'ev at her heels, and carefully kneeled next to her. Blood seeped into her jeans, staining the kneecaps a dark red, but she didn't even notice. "Winter, oh my—"

"You guys doesn't need to worry," Winyer whispered, weakly grabbing onto her arm, "Aimery's got me. I just thought that… that maybe…"

"I called. The police are on their way."

Ze'ev looked up to find Aimery at the top of the stairs, his face contorted in fury. He glanced at Winter with disdain, which only infuriated Ze'ev more.

"Then leave," Ze'ev said, his voice rough as he turned to Winter.

She looked back at him, panic swimming in her wide eyes. "Ze'ev, no."

"Excuse me?" Aimery descended part way down the stairs. "What the fuck did you just say to me?"

Ze'ev grinded his teeth together, slowly standing up. "I told you to leave."

"No, Ze'ev, please." Winter was grasping at his pants, tears forming in her eyes. "Please, just listen to me."

"Are you shitting me right now?" Aimery came down the last few steps until he was directly above Ze'ev. "Are you seriously telling _me_ to leave _my own house_? And what, just entrust Winter to you?"

Ze'ev turned around, fists clenched as he faced Aimery. "She'll be better off with me than she ever was with you. Now, _go_."

Aimery's eyes flashed dangerously and, before either of them could blink, he pulled out a gun. Scarlet gasped, holding onto Winter's hands tightly. "Like _hell_ —"

Something snapped inside of Ze'ev and he grabbed the gun by the barrel. He smashed it into the wall, just inches from Aimery's face. The wooden panel splintered beneath the force of his fist, effectively cutting off whatever Aimery was about to say. Winter was crying behind him, pleading with Ze'ev to just listen to her for one second, to just please listen to her, but he didn't turn around.

"Now you better listen to what I'm saying," Ze'ev snarled, leaning in close to Aimery so that he could hear every word, "I never want to even think about you again, you hear? I don't care what pathetic excuses you come up with, I don't want to hear you contact Winter in any way. If I ever see your disgusting fucking face again, you are going to wish that you were six feet under. So before I tear you to pieces with my bare hands, you better leave and _never. Come. Back_."

Aimery's face remained cool under his stare, not even flinching as Ze'ev pulled his hand out of the wall and dropped the gun. It clattered to the floor. That was the sound he focused on. Ze'ev couldn't bear listening to Winter in hysterics as she pleaded with Aimery to stay.

But Aimery didn't even blink as he leaned toward Ze'ev. "As impressive as that was, it takes a lot more than a hole in my wall to scare me. Now how about you get the fuck away from me and think hard about what exactly you're next move is, because, as I see it, you're going to be in some deep shit."

In the distance, sirens sounded, gradually getting louder as they neared. Winter cried out, and after a moment of staring Aimery down, Ze'ev turned back to her.

"We're here, Winter," Scarlet said, gently pushing the curls off of Winter's forehead. "We're going to get through this."

Ze'ev closed his eyes, listening to her and desperately hoping she was right.


	15. Chapter 21

Jacin played with his fingers, itching for something to do as his mind went through the same thoughts over and over and over. He shifted, the hospital tiles cold and hard, making it difficult to sit comfortably. But Jacin didn't bother moving to a chair. Everyone that had come to see Winter were all either crowding her room or snoozing in the chairs outside.

 _She has some good friends_ , he thought, examining his coffee cup, which had cooled down considerably. It had been a few days since the incident, but Winter was never alone in her recovery.

The door opened and Jacin looked up, hoping for some good news. Instead, Scarlet and Ze'ev came out, looking worse than ever. Jacin had never met them personally, but he recognized them easily enough after listening to Winter describe them.

"I just… I can't believe I let this happen," Ze'ev said quietly, looking down at his hands. Jacin tried not to listen in, but he knew exactly how Ze'ev felt.

"No, you can't blame yourself for this," Scarlet whispered, trying not to disturb others in the hallway, "You know this isn't your fault. Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"I should've been there for her," Ze'ev said forcefully, "I have been for years. And now, when she needed me most…" He clenched his hands.

Scarlet bit her lip. "I know. I get that. We all should've been there. We all knew something was off and—"

Jacin suddenly couldn't take it anymore. "No, if it's anyone's fault, it's mine."

They both looked startled at his sudden outburst. "What…?"

Jacin hesitated, picking himself up off the floor. "I'm Jacin Clay. I was… I'm the one that Winter came to whenever she got hurt. She never told me what was really happening, but I should've known. I mean, I saw all her bruises and I didn't even… I didn't do anything."

"…Jacin?" Scarlet said, looking bewildered.

"Winter came to you?" Ze'ev asked, curling his hands into fists, "And you never helped her?"

Jacin looked down, not bearing to look them in the eye. "I bandaged her up, but I never said anything. I never even asked."

Ze'ev growled, but when Jacin glanced up, he looked defeated. "No, no, this—this is my fault. I was always the one to—"

"Are you all a bunch of idiots?!"

Jacin flinched, turning around to find Iko carrying a bunch of coffees and angrier than he'd ever seen her.

"What is this? Some pity party where we all make ourselves feel bad because of all the 'should've's' and 'could've's'?

"This isn't helping Winter, which is what we all should be focused on. None of us are to blame for what happened. The only one at fault is /him/. He is the only one that caused all of this and is the only one that should be feeling guilty."

Iko looked each one of them in the eyes, fuming. " _Don't you dare take away any of his blame_."

Nobody said anything, stunned at her outburst. Still scowling, Iko started passing out the coffees, shoving them at each person.

"Iko's right," Cinder said, rubbing her eyes blearily. She accepted the coffee and shrugged off the blanket Kai had left her. "We can't blame ourselves for this. Maybe there was something we could have done, but there really is only one person who's guilty."

Ze'ev slumped in a nearby chair, burying his face in his hands. Jacin went back to leaning against the wall, turning Iko's words around in his mind.


	16. Chapter 22

Scarlet watched as Sybil exchanged a glance with Aimery, her delectably plucked eyebrows raised.

"Right," Sybil said and closed her file. "Well, I think we've heard enough."

She stood up, peering down at Scarlet in that infuriating way. Sybil had that kind of cold attitude that demanded respect from others, while not bothering to show any in return. Scarlet had no idea what her history was with Cress, but she could understand why she wanted nothing to do Sybil.

"Ms. Mira, please," Thorne said tiredly, rubbing his temple, "We're not done—"

"Thorne, if you really think this case has any chance," Sybil said, a snarky smile on her face, "Then I'll see you in court."

"Mira—"

"Which will be a waste of time and money anyway, because my client will not stand for these ridiculous accusations—"

"Then _sit the hell down_."

Scarlet blinked, before glancing over at Thorne in surprise. He was staring them down, radiating a cool fury.

"I _will_ be taking this to court, Mira," Thorne said, unclenching his jaw in an effort to get the words out, "And I will make sure that your client pays for what he did."

Aimery glanced at them, uninterested, before making his way out of the room. Scarlet swallowed, fuming at the way he carried himself. Even after everything he did…

"If that's how you want to play it," Sybil said, looking at Scarlet carelessly, "Then I'll see you at the hearing."

With that, she left, closing the door behind her. Scarlet stared at the settlement offer laid out in front of her, not sure what she wanted more: to scream or cry.

"This won't be enough to cover all the medical costs," Thorne said quietly, before moving to put his papers away. "But I'm not sure if we can get better."

"I know," Scarlet said, before leaning back in her seat. There had only been a small chance that this meeting could help in any way, and now it had been reduced to practically nothing. Winter had barely had enough saved to get her through her surgery, but they still had to think about the recovery costs and Scarlet would help as much as she could, but there was still so much to account for.

This… was not good. This was _not_ good. The same words repeated over and over again in her head. Thorne had told her how difficult it was for domestic abuse cases to get convicted. Especially if the victim was not even there to testify. And with a lawyer like Mira, it was almost impossible to win.

She sighed, not sure what to think anymore.

"Scarlet, I, uh, I'd just like to apologize for the way I acted," Thorne said, running his hand through his hair, "That was unprofessional and most likely will—"

"Thorne, it's fine," Scarlet cut him off, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "I get it. And honestly, if you hadn't shut Sybil up, I might've decked her right then and there. So really, you saved us some trouble."

Thorne cracked a grin. "I wouldn't have minded seeing that."

Scarlet rolled her eyes, but didn't suppress her smile. "Yeah, okay. Let's just go tell the others the bad news."

* * *

He watched Cinder get up quietly and leave. Everyone else was still arguing, trying to find a solution, and she was able to slip out, unnoticed. Kai debated following her for a moment, before excusing himself and making his way outside.

The door closed with a _click!_ behind him, but Cinder didn't even turn around. She was standing in front of a window, watching the rain dribble down the glass.

Kai didn't say anything, not wanting to ruin the tentative silence between them. It was cooler in the hallway and she was only wearing a t-shirt, hugging herself. He desperately wanted to pull her close, or, at the very least, offer his jacket. Still, he held back. There was very little keeping her here and he had to be careful.

After a moment of them listening to the rain, Cinder spoke. Her voice was soft, and Kai had to lean in to hear it over the whirring of the air conditioner. "I can't believe this is happening."

He shifted his weight, grimacing. "Winter never deserved this."

"Nobody ever does."

Lightning flashed, illuminating Cinder's face for a brief second. There was an angry glint in her eye, the muscles in her jaw clenched. He couldn't help but wonder if she was thinking of Adri.

Dragging his fingers through his hair, he let out a breath and looked at Cinder through the corner of his eye. There was something about her, something that attracted everyone's attention. An incredible drawing power that was almost regal. From the moment he first saw her, Kai couldn't take his eyes off of her. And even now, nothing seemed to have changed.

"Are you okay?" Kai asked softly. She looked a little worse for wear, but then again, so did everyone else. He hated seeing her like this, though, her face tense with dark smears beneath her eyes.

"Listen, Kai, can we just…" Cinder paused, rubbing her arm, "Can we just put a pause on this? On us? Until everything with Winter is okay again?"

Kai looked at her incredulously, her words sinking in. "What—You think I would use what happened to Winter to try and get you to stay with me?"

Cinder blinked, before trying to backtrack. "No, that's not what I'm saying—"

Frustrated, Kai ran his hand roughly through his hair. "Cinder, I don't know when you suddenly started to form this bad opinion of me, but that's not who I am. It never was. And you know what?" He gave a bitter laugh. "Maybe you're right. We should just stay away from each other from now on."

Cinder didn't reply, her arms crossed and her face as unfathomable as ever. That only served to irritate him further, wishing that she would just for once _react_. Just to show him that she actually cared.

Clenching his jaw, Kai turned away, and made his way down the corridor. A small, inextinguishable part of him hoped Cinder would call out for him, stop him before he left.

She didn't.

* * *

 **To everyone that has read this fic: thank you! It is obviously not complete, with several missing chapters and plotlines, but, as I mentioned before, I just don't have time to finish it. Feel free to interpret it however you want. Maybe one day I'll get back to it, or maybe someone else will. Thanks for sticking around though!**

 **All characters belong to Marissa Meyer, author of the Lunar Chronicles.**


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